February 28, 2007

Jesus' Bones Found! Sleep in on Sunday

Have you heard the news? Apparently the family tomb of Jesus has been found in a Jerusalem neighborhood (Talpiot), complete with the ossuaries and bones of His mother, brothers, Jesus Himself, His wife Mary, and His son! James Cameron, of Titanic fame, has been kind enough to produce a Discovery Channel documentary to fill us in on this remarkable find. What does this all mean? Well, if true, it means at least this much:

  • Dan Brown (of The Da Vinci Code) was wrong in claiming that Mary Magdalene left the crucified Jesus for France and lived and died there with her child.

  • John Dominic Crossan was wrong to claim that Jesus was buried in a shallow grave and eaten by dogs.

  • Jesus didn't really live in India and have a tomb in Kashmir after all.

  • The Jesus-never-existed types need to repent of their presumption and poor historical analysis.

  • Muhammad was wrong and Muslims are following a false prophet who claimed that Jesus didn't really die on the cross but, instead, was taken up to heaven by Allah.

  • The family and followers of Jesus were idiots for burying Him in Jerusalem (putting his name on the box no less), right in the heart of the conspiracy; and His Roman and Jewish enemies were incompetent fools for not finding the counter-evidence right under their own noses.

  • Names like Mary, Jesus, and Joseph are not really some of the most common of that era like we once believed.

  • The James ossuary, which Cameron ties in with this find, isn't a forgery after all, as some insist.

  • James Cameron is a genius and all the liberal scholars and archaeologists who thought this theory unconvincing are morons for having neglected this find since it was first brought to light in 1980.

  • James Tabor, who released a book about all this last year (The Jesus Dynasty), will have to surrender his view that Jesus' real father was a Roman soldier named Panthera.

  • If you're buried too close to someone whose DNA does not match you maternally, then you must be married to them.

  • Statistical calculations only need be done on the data that fits your theory. All contrary data may be ignored.

  • The relatives and friends of Jesus' departed family liked long hikes and funeral processions, since they preferred a tomb that was miles away from their home towns of Bethlehem, Nazareth, and Galilee.

  • The Acts of Phillip, which contains stories even more fantastic than the four Gospels, and which scholars have always taken to be a 4th Century work at the earliest, is actually an authoritative document from which someone like Cameron may appeal to make his case.

  • As St. Paul says, we Christians "are of all men most to be pitied" for believing in a raised Christ (1 Co 15:19).

  • Contrary to Cameron's insistence that we can still believe in the resurrection as a spiritual event and maintain our "faith," we must accept that the authors of Scripture were liars and the whole New Testament is tainted by their dishonesty.

  • The disciples of Jesus were psychotic fools to propagate this lie, which offered only persecution and death with no personal payoff.

  • If you are a Bible believing Christian, you can now sleep in on Sunday.

  • If you are a liberal Christian, you are not so much affected, though you should ask yourself once again just why it is you call yourself a "Christian" and how you even know what Jesus really taught given that His biographers were such conspiracists.

For some critical reviews of Cameron's titanic folly, see the following:

Christian:
Problems Multiply for Jesus Tomb Theory (Ben Witherington)
A Skeleton in God's Closet? Paul Maier Responds (Stand To Reason and Justin Taylor)
James White's rundown on this topic
Hollywood Hype: The Oscars and Jesus’ Family Tomb, What Do They Share? (Darrell Bock)
Don’t Lose Any Sleep Over Jesus’ Lost Tomb (Pulpit Magazine)
Has the tomb of Jesus been found? (CARM)
Wailing at the Tomb (Townhall.com)

Secular:
Archaeologists, scholars dispute Jesus documentary (CNN)
Is This Jesus' Tomb? (Time)
Raiders of the Lost Tomb (Newsweek)
The Jesus Hoax (Huffington Post)
Special Report: Has James Cameron Found Jesus's Tomb or Is It Just a Statistical Error? (Scientific American)

9 Comments:

At 3/01/2007 8:27 AM, Blogger ephphatha said...

I remember when the James ossuary was popular, a lot of Christians were eager to jump on the bandwagon and affirm that it really was the ossuary of Jesus' brother, James, on the basis that it would've been too much of a coincidence to have James, the brother of Jesus and son of Joseph to have not been the same James. But critics didn't think it confirmed anything because James, Jesus, and Joseph were very common names and could've referred to anybody. (Of course this was all before it was declared to have been a hoax.)

Now just the opposite seems to be happening. Those who were critics of the James ossuary because the names were too common are now affirming the Jesus family tomb anyway. And those who were excited about the James ossuary because the names would've created too much of a coincidence are now rejecting the Jesus family tomb because the names are too common.

 
At 3/02/2007 8:40 AM, Blogger Paul said...

Absolutely right. Everyone's credulity sieve has a finer mesh for what fails to fit their preconceptions. Christians are just as guilty. Objectivity may be painful to cultivate, but I don't think it is always impossible, as the postmoderns believe.

The Shroud of Turin is another example of something that gets split down the middle. Regarding the James box, part of the contention was about whether the inscription itself is authentic. If it is, then I think that has a bit of an edge, since the three names and the relationship are unequivocally defined right there on the one ossuary. Also, there is historical precedence for having James' tomb in Jerusalem. It is stupid, for several reasons, for Jesus' "family" tomb to be in Jerusalem.

 
At 3/03/2007 3:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm a French Christian webmaster of http://unpoissondansle.net

I like a lot this post and I would like to translate it and contextualize it also for the french public. Would you allow me to do it ?
Thanks a lot for your answer !

My email is unpoissondanslenet@gmail.com

 
At 3/03/2007 11:34 AM, Blogger Paul said...

Anon,

I've sent you an email with permission to translate this post. Thanks for your interest.

 
At 11/01/2007 2:20 PM, Anonymous Michael Adam Reale said...

Personally, I think, that when one deifies another human being, one takes away from their work, their life and their ministry. By deifying Yashua Bar Josef, have we not absolved ourselves from ever having to do what Jesus asked us to do and to follow the path that he asked us to follow.

It is easier to say that he is God and therefore I could never achieve the things that he did. What one might fail to realize is that we may have done the historical man a great disservice. I find more joy and grace in the understanding of the actual historical Jesus rather than a mythical one.

The more I learn about the real Jesus, the more I come to realize that he was far ahead of his time. Jesus was, in my opinion, a strong advocate of social justice and a positive force for social change. Apparently, issues such as gender equity, justice for the poor and the oppressed, et al. were issues that were close to his heart. His message, as it has come down through the canonical and non-canonical sources speaks of one who worked towards changing a world bent on putting profit before people.

He was the front-runner and model for future generations in non-violent conflict resolution and in active suffering and passive resistance. Both Mohandas Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King followed his example and both achieved remarkable results.

 
At 11/02/2007 12:36 PM, Blogger Paul said...

Michael,

Regarding your comments like these:
"...what Jesus asked us to do and to follow the path that he asked us to follow."
"we may have done the historical man a great disservice"
"I find more joy and grace in the understanding of the actual historical Jesus rather than a mythical one."
"The more I learn about the real Jesus..."


Sir, how exactly do you know what the "real Jesus" did or said? Since our primary source material is intent upon portraying Yashua Bar Josef as something more than a mere human, ethical exemplar, from where do you gain your confidence that He was anything like your own portrait of Him? Christians deify Him not because we want to lift Him up, like a Caesar, but because by the earliest and best accounts He was deity (among other reasons).

Additionally, who said that the biblical teaching was that we can just shrug our shoulders and reject our moral duties merely because the Messiah's perfection was born of His deity? Indeed, Jesus said that if we love Him we will follow his teaching, however imperfectly, and this was the very motivation for Martin Luther King's mission and tactics. However, if there is one thing that history proves out it is that perfection is a most un-human quality. I am willing to bet that you have not yet met any perfect people, even by your own standards. The question is: what is it that you expect God to do with the burden of sin that you are daily accruing?

 
At 7/14/2009 2:33 AM, Blogger Juhani said...

Many syncretistic religions formed gnosticism. Gnosticism was rivaling against Christianity and gnosticism held itself better religion as Christianity was. Word gnosticism comes from Greek word gnosis, which means knowledge. Gnosticism had various effects, for instance, some Gnostics taught that divinity can be achieved through unity of the man and woman. This thought led some Gnostics to reach for divinity through sexual intercourse between the man and woman. There existed also some Gnostics, who abstained from sexual intercourse. When we know the fact that Gnostics held Christians as their enemies and that Gnostics held themselves better as Christians and that Gnostics wanted to show in every way that Gnosticism was better as Christianity, so Gnostics made so called gnostic gospels were they twisted, slandered and misrepresented the real gospels. Gnostics went so far in this misrepresent that they wrote “new gospels” by faking the real gospels. In these faked gospels Gnostics wrote that Jesus Christ was an ordinary man who has a sexual relationship with Mary Magdalene.

http://koti.phnet.fi/elohim/marymagdalene.html

 
At 10/20/2011 11:46 PM, Blogger Laws of attractions said...

A fantastic post indeed! Thank you very much!

Prophecy news watch

 
At 4/19/2012 10:13 PM, Blogger Slavtheman said...

Wow, You guys are dumb. Jesus is alive. How do you know that it is Jesus's? Does it say his name on it? Does it still have blood on it? Is there a broken bone on the side? Ah, no! I can name a few people who it can be.
A. Joseph (Jesus's Father)
B. Joseph (The one who buried Jesus)
C. Or One of His Disciples.
Jesus is still alive!

 

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